angel and demon

we can be both an angel and a demon for the same course of action -jiayi(m)
please, do not be me
within this frail body frame
i'm both an angel and a demon
armed with the tongue of fire
words out of my mouth are arrows
which pierce into people's hearts
to protect others from coming near
i swore that no man can read me truely
i started to build walls since i was nine
strong iron walls and angel traps on them
just to deter the evil spirits away
to prevent angels from saving me
just because i know other people needs help too
i ain't saint
but i just want people around me to be happy
so they will definitely not follow my footsteps
into the dark deep hole for eternity
do not judge me cos you dont know my true intentions
like wise, the best intentions bring the biggest harm
yes, harm to me solely
do not think that you know me well
when you know no shit about me
if you do, you will definitely hide from me
cos i am just a demon
with strong walls around me
i need help and i need saving
but no one want to do
thus, i gave up
hoping they will help others first
do i have a chance to receive the light?
i don't really care
but i do wish that you will quit acting like me
cos i don't want people to know the true side of me
cos im scared of the other me too
stop forcing it to come out
since i locked it in the treasure box for the past 16 years